[Author’s Note: this Blog Post was heavily changed and repurposed to function as a chapter in the TMR Novel. This is the Revised & Refined version. Toggle under the title to read the Original & Unedited form.]

Going into a bit of a blog overdrive as I’m finishing up this site. Once I get my brain latched onto something, I become Absolutely Obsessed. As soon as I can define an idea, I’m cooked. “I’m gonna start a blog” is too simple, but “I’m going to build an authentic 2010s-era blog using only HTML” is something I can fucking dream about.

— It’s sad, but true —
I had a breakthrough about a line of code in a dream last night and it was the first thing I woke up to do.

I suppose the next step is to define what the blog is about. All good blogs are about something. I guess mine is about, Dating Again After A Big Love Story™. Eh, sounds like self-help. And that’s not really all I’m writing about. It’s bigger than that, clearly. It’s more like, Finding Romance In The Modern World. Uh, duh. The EP is called True Modern Romance. It’s all interconnected. Maybe it’s about my career and life? Maybe it’s all of the above? Sounds convoluted.
Who Would Want To Read This Blog? I ask.
Maybe I should just be Doing Music.
This is my typical cycle when it comes to a new idea.

— The Steps —
1. Doing Music is hard. [INSERT IDEA] sounds fun. I bet I can become the greatest in the world at that instead
2. Get hooked and begin learning all I can about [INSERT IDEA]
3. Realize this is a whole field in and of itself, and feel shame thinking I can treat someone else’s entire life pursuit like a hobby and expect to play at the same level
4. Either face the beast and become world-class, or realize it’s a fool’s errand and turn my attention back to Doing Music
5. Doing Music is hard. Ooh, [INSERT NEW IDEA] sounds fun

I Just Wanted To Do Music. Now I’m spread thin Doing Blogging, or Doing Acting, or Doing Dating¹. Which do I really care about, again? I have artist friends who have reached heights and depths beyond my reach because of their singular focus and dedication to their craft. But not how it works for me. George R.R. Martin (one of my biggest inspirations for creating this blog) calls himself a Gardener™ writer, and I like to think of myself as a Gardener™ artist. I water various aspects of my creative endeavors and love seeing how one area of the Garden™ helps the others grow. Perhaps my water would have been more wisely spent on one plant, but I feel that after a decade of tending to my Garden™, I’m beginning to see a full harvest. It always comes back to Doing Music.
When I was Burnt Out by Doing Music after the Junk Male EP, I turned my attention to making the Junk Male short film with Codename: Didi. I had always wanted to Do Acting, but I watered the music area of my Garden™ first. The shade from the music tree let me then water the acting tree for a little while, which then did [INSERT BOTANY TERM] in return to my music tree.
Basically, when I Burnt Out from Doing Music, I Did Acting, and that reinspired me to Do Music again. I reached a new level of overall artistic depth by making the Junk Male short film, which was a huge unlock when I returned to Doing Music. Then I acted in Space Cowboy this summer, which deepened me further, so when I returned once again to Doing Music, I felt like an even more well-rounded artist.
It sounds like the way I’m Doing Dating, now. I kinda thought I’d never date again, after Codename: Didi, but eventually I had to put myself back out there. Dating doesn’t feel the same, though. Maybe I’m just Burnt Out by Romance after my breakup. Gardener™ dating will help with that, I know it, just like starting the blog will see returns in Doing Music. I don’t know what that’ll look like, but I know it will. It’s Never Failed Me Before.
I posted a few unstructured journal investigations from when I was building the blog out over the last few days, hope you found those interesting.

’Til next time
—mbk

FOOTNOTES:
1. I was even Doing Boxing for a bit when I wanted to quit Doing Music. ↩

Going into a bit of a blog overdrive as I’m finishing up this site. As you may know by now, once I get my brain latched onto something I become absolutely obsessed. Once I can define the idea, I’m cooked. “I’m gonna start a blog” is too nebulous, but “I’m going to start an authentic 2010’s-era blog using only HTML” is something I can fucking dream about.

***It’s sad, but true***
I had a breakthrough about a line of code in a dream last night and it was the first thing I woke up to do.

I suppose the next step is to define what the blog is ABOUT. This is my typical cycle when it comes to a new hobby or passion….

***The steps***
1. [Insert idea] sounds fun. I bet I can become the greatest in the world at this.
2. Get hooked and begin learning all I can about [insert idea].
3. Realize this is a whole field in and of itself, and feel shame thinking I can treat someone else’s entire life pursuit into a hobby and expect to play at the same level
4. Either face the beast and become world-class, or realize it’s a fool’s errand and turn my attention elsewhere
5. Ooh, [insert idea] sounds fun

I’ve reached step 3 now. Yes, what is this blog about? I’ve decided, for now, to have two broad categories. One will be Diary entries: unfiltered thoughts about my life. The other will be Blog entries: the rough theme being my pursuit of my various main interests (art, technology, romance, travel, spirituality, self-discovery) and the strangely inevitable ways in which they intersect. Maybe there will be more categories later. I think it’d be fun to do a serialized story for some posts.

I sometimes wonder if my attention would be better spent focused on a single thing. I have artist friends who have reached depths unbeknownst to me because of their singular focus and dedication to a specialized area of their craft. But that’s never enough for me. George R.R. Martin (one of my biggest inspirations for creating this blog) calls himself a “gardener” writer, and I like to think of myself as a “gardener” artist. I water various aspects of my creative endeavors and love to see the ways one area of the garden helps the other areas grow. Perhaps my water would have been more wisely spent on one plant, but I feel that after a decade of tending to my garden I’m beginning to see a full harvest. Okay, the metaphor is losing steam a bit. Let’s get practical.

When I was burnt out of music after the “Junk Male” EP, I turned my attention to the Junk Male short film. I had always wanted to be an actor, but I watered the musician area of my garden first. The shade from the musician tree let me then water the actor tree for a little while, which then did [insert botany term] in return to my musician tree. Okay, I said I’d quit the metaphor for a second. Basically, when I burnt out of music, I worked on acting, and that reinspired me to work on music again. I reached a new level of overall artistic depth by making the film, which was a huge unlock when I returned to writing music. Then I did the film this summer which deepened me even more, so when I returned to music I felt like an even more well-rounded artist. This approach has the greatest return when bouncing through different artistic disciplines, but I find it helpful with more craft- or hobby-centric pursuits. In fact, I know that starting this blog will see returns in my music. I’m not exactly sure how, yet, but I am faithful that it will. It’s never failed me before.

I have a few unstructured diary entries from when I was building the blog out the last week, hope you find those interesting. Until next time -mbk